I Am Woman.....(she says timidly)

Where do I begin...... I am at present ..a 38 year old woman; married 16 years and have been with the love of my life (Craig) for 20 years; a mother of three children, Ashley about to be 9, Joshua, 5 years old, and Lily, about to turn 4; the youngest of two daughters to my mom who is going through the hardest 6 months of her life (death of her husband of 50 years, loss of her 92 year old mother, a stoke that left her dependent on her children, her baby brother battling aggressive colon cancer); the "daddy's girl" mourning for the loss of an amazing father; a younger sister to an amazing woman (Rhonda) who was always overlooked of her talents because her little sister got all the attention being the baby or a prodigal child; the "needy" friend to many; the "too busy" to develop a relationship with God, my Creator; this list can go on and on!!!! But let's just leave it with a wife and mom dealing with growing old and experiencing the different phases of life in the 21st Century.

Every now and then in the middle of "life" I see it, what it is supposed to be like, what I am supposed to be doing, how I should behave and respond, that there are others being impacted instead of just me, again I could go on but I won't. The point is, I realize I am not handling all the areas of my life the way I should but I am catching on. I can only pray that I get the hang of it before it's too late. I wish I was one of those power women that seem to have it all. I have jealousy issues with anybody who has more than 1 hour of energy in them, but the power women that never seem to stop absolutely amaze me.

I so want to be a woman that has it all together. But I'm not. I am human, stained, worn down, tired, scared, lonely at times, overwhelmed, grumpy, grass is greener on the other side kind of person. I seem to always want what I don't have. This keeps me in trouble! I want to figure out and grasp what God intended for my life. To be happy with the hand I have been dealt. I want to embrace being Sharon Winn!

The manual, handbook, cliff notes, whatever you want to call it for life is the Holy Bible. I know what it says about being a wife, child, parent, friend, and human. Why is it so hard to follow. Lord, I wish I could just do it without problems. But then I probably wouldn't have ever felt like I needed your help. I am glad to know that we all fail. Thank you for your Grace!

I see other women being submissive wives, loving mothers, helpful children, good housekeepers, frugal shoppers, excellent time-managers, beneficial friends, compassionate to other people and then there is me. I feel like a teapot that is just about to start boiling and bubbling and then , by accident or on purpose, my eye goes out. I am not getting the heat source to get me to the right temperature. I feel lukewarm and like when He says "I will spit you out of my mouth". I don't want to be that. Is it Satan that keeps taking the wind out of my sail? Is it really spiritual warfare holding me back? Or, is all that just a cop-out? Regardless the reason or thing behind me not acheiving my full potential and purpose, it just isn't happening. I want it to happen. I want to actively make it happen. I choose to be a force to be reckoned with! I am a child of God!

I am ready to get in there!!! I am ready to stand up, adjust my bra strap, and become a roaring woman!! I hope through this blog thing I can post updates of improvements and no setbacks. I encourage all comments, positive or negative. Whatever happens... my first step will be to get in The Word and then pray for guidance and to then follow His Will for my life.

Wish me luck!
Roarrrrrr